Compassion Betrayed, Legacy Reclaimed
From Something Terrible, Beautiful Things Emerged
Authors Note
This story documents an unexpected responsibility that followed the loss of a friend and fellow kite flyer. What began as an effort to honor Ben Dantonio’s legacy became a months long process of recovery, stewardship, and difficult decision making, which still continues today. The events described here are shared not to elevate any individual, but to preserve context, acknowledge the kindness of others, and record how Ben’s kites are ultimately being handled with care and intention. Names have been withheld where appropriate, and the story reflects events as they unfolded, including moments of uncertainty, exhaustion, and growth. The hope is that this account honors Ben, the community he belonged to, and the values that guided these choices. Photos are provided throughout this story for additional context. This is long and should be admitted. Sincere thanks to those who permitted their names to be included. Ben will always be family to the San Diego Kite Club.
The Story
Within days of Ben’s passing in January of 2025, his property was stolen. This information was brought to my attention by a family friend of Ben. We will refer to this family friend as Hero #1. At the time this news was shared, I happened to be in a unique position to offer some aid to Hero #1. This was due to my role as president of the San Diego Kite Club, which Ben had been a part of for well over 20 years. Hero #1 was informed that the San Diego Kite Club would begin planning a tribute fly and work began for Ben’s tribute article.
The conversation was impactful, hard on the ears, but left us feeling like we could do some good together. Our conversation started with Hero #1 telling me that she knew something was wrong when Ben wouldn’t answer the phone. They talked regularly and had stayed close for many years. Hero #1 told me Ben helped raise his/her children and that the kids, who are adults today, still look at Ben as a father figure. So, when Hero #1 didn’t hear from him and he didn’t answer the calls, Hero #1 drove over to discover his passing was a real matter of fact.
Before ending the call, discussion turned to contacting another individual, Hero #2, regarding plans to honor Ben. Both individuals would end up discussing how to go about handling Ben’s belongings left behind, funeral arrangements, and more. Hero #1 passed my information along to Hero #2 so introductions could be made and early plans discussed.
The first call with Hero #2 took place the next day. This was still the same week as Ben’s passing. The conversation hit hard once again and provided even more details. It was shared that the thieves were found and police became involved, but nothing came of it. One of the thieves stole Ben’s van but, upon getting caught, told a story about how Ben let her borrow the van. Hero #2 couldn’t do anything about pressing charges because he/she was not legally responsible for Ben and his belongings. The cops let the thieves go with no consequences and no police report was filed. Sadly, Hero #2 knew they used the van to steal his property after they broke into his personal spaces. She informed me that 100% of his kites were stolen. Hero #2 knew the woman who was behind the theft. A homeless drug addict that Ben would offer help to. Ben tried to help her get sober, find a place to live, provided money, food and even let her shower in his place from time to time when she looked dirty. He let this woman into his home many times just to offer aid. Some people knew he was doing this and said to be careful. Ben was compassionate and repeatedly tried offering to get the woman real help, to get clean, to start her life over. In the end, she stole from the only person that truly cared for her.
With this new information, Hero #2 was told that every effort would be made to locate Ben’s kites. Before we ended the call, Hero #2 was informed that an invitation to the tribute fly would be extended and that updates would be shared regarding all club-related developments.
In March of 2025, just about two months after Ben’s passing, we held a tribute fly at Seaport Village. Here is a small preview of that day, which can be seen on the San Diego Kite Club Group page below.
San Diego Kite Facebook Group Page – Ben’s Tribute Fly– Feel free to request access to join our group page and we will accept your request so you can see the full post.
We had a cake for Ben with a Revolution topper for decoration. During our meeting, I spoke about Ben, told a short story, and mentioned Hero #1 and Hero #2. Both confided, extended their trust, and helped create an even better day for Ben and his club.
Following the club tribute fly. I had several conversations with a select group of people. It was the wish of Hero #2 that no public announcements be made about Ben’s belongings being stolen. For this reason, Social media posts and club announcements were not made.
The people I did talk with were all told the same thing:
“Ben’s kites were stolen and are circulating around San Diego with a group of thieves. Keep an eye out and share any information that surfaces.”
Nothing turned up, and permission was eventually granted to make an announcement to club members. February, March, April, May, and June all passed, and nothing could be found despite my extensive efforts. I made daily searches on Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, OfferUp, and called local pawn shops. In fact, I called every pawn shop within a 20-mile radius of where Ben lived. They knew my name, what I was looking for, and to call me if something came into the shop. My phone never rang.
It’s July of 2025 now. For several months I had been working on Ben’s tribute article for the San Diego Kite Club website. Our club has a tradition of writing about members who have passed. It doesn’t always happen, but I felt it was necessary for Ben and took the responsibility with pride.
Just before bed on Monday, July 7th, around 11 PM, I had completed the final draft of Ben’s tribute article, posted it to the club website, and shut down my computer. A moment was spent at the desk performing the daily routine of checking all usual online places in hopes of finding something of Ben’s. An incredible coincidence happened that still surprises me. When you open Facebook Marketplace, it automatically makes suggestions on items that may interest you based on past searches. The first thing thrown in my face was one of Ben’s kites. I couldn’t believe it. The same night I finished his tribute article, one of Ben’s kites was posted for sale locally.
I froze and didn’t move for a couple of minutes. The first move was to screenshot whatever appeared on the phone. Secondly, I clicked the ad and looked over two very unique kites that only Ben could have. How do I know this? Because the main photo in this Facebook Marketplace ad was an Alden Miller Eyes Revolution kite that only Ben could own. The same kite had been seen flying on January 1st, 2025, at the annual San Diego Kite Club New Year’s Day fly. I told Ben, “That is the most beautiful kite I have ever seen.” And here it was, listed for sale online.
I immediately contacted the person who posted the ad. His name is Chris Acevedo (Hero #3), and I will tell you all about him later in this story. I sent Chris a message that night which read, “I am interested. May I come over tomorrow and look at what you have?” That night he responded, “Sure,” and went offline.
My brain sent me into a rollercoaster of emotions, questions, and concerns. I asked him for his address and a good time to come by the next day. I also mentioned that I was free anytime that worked for him. He didn’t respond that night. And because he didn’t respond, I didn’t sleep.
My entire night consisted of me trying to go to bed and not being able to rest. Only two hours of sleep were possible before waking at 8 AM. The immediate thought was to message Chris again, but I didn’t want to scare him off. After all, he might be one of the thieves, dangerous, sketchy.
Around 10 AM, Chris sent me his address and said, “Come over.” I couldn’t go alone, so that morning, Tuesday, July 8th, I called club member Eric Olaes. I said three words: I FOUND THEM! Eric knew instantly what I was referring to. Eric and I talked about how to approach the situation while driving to meet the seller, Chris. Do we talk about the kites being stolen? Do we ask where they came from? The smartest move was to go about it like we were just buyers.
Here is where things get very interesting.
Eric and I showed up to Chris’s brothers house on July 8th, ready to look over what he had posted online. Expecting two quad-line kites that only Ben could have owned and a single-line that wasn’t anything outside of the ordinary.
When Chris walked outside, we were standing next to some kites already on the ground. Chris was holding more kites in his hands. He walked outside, dropped them on the ground, and went back into the house. He came out again with more kites and put them down. This happened a total of three or four times.
At this point, a few exchanged glances occurred, with little conversation from Eric.
When Chris dropped the final kites at our feet, I responded by saying, “This is more than expecting from your post. Can we look this over for a while?”
Chris said, “Take as long as you like. I am working on my brother’s house, and if you need me, just call me out.”
Eric and I were blown away. I can recall Eric saying, “These are Ben’s.”
I was shaking, emotionally overwhelmed, and feeling the strangest combination of emotions. It was relief, a sensation of accomplishment, anger, and curiosity all at once. Most of all I was angry. Eric could see it. I was silently crying and nervous.
When I snapped out of my trance. I told Eric two things. “We don’t leave until everything is in my car. Let me do all of the talking at first”
I called Chris outside and knew exactly what to say.
“Alright, Chris. I want everything. I am only going to give you $500.”
Chris responded with an inward breath between his teeth, the kind of sound that means it’s not enough money. He said, “I am out $800 for all of this.”
I responded, “Let me tell you why I offered you such a shitty deal and why I refuse to leave your driveway until we have everything in the trunk of my car. All of this belongs to my friend Ben. These kites were stolen, and I want them back now.”
Chris immediately gasped. We could see his eyes moving around.
Thankfully, Eric took over because I couldn’t find the next right thing to say. He explained what happened in a nutshell, and Chris was completely engaged in what Eric was saying.
Chris then asked two solid question: “Can you tell me about Ben, please? Do you have a photo of Ben?”
I still think about this moment. Chris was genuinely interested to know more about Ben. It surprised me because of the way he asked with a concerned tone. Eric spoke about Ben’s legacy and club involvement. We pulled open a photo of Ben flying the Alden Miller Eyes kite from the New Year’s Day fly to prove our story.
Within five minutes, we had caught Chris up to speed.
In turn, Chris allowed us to ask him questions.
“How did you acquire all of this?”
Chris told us he saw someone he knew from his childhood trying to get rid of professional kites, as the thieves had advertised. Chris wanted to purchase some for his son so they could go out and fly together. A father-and-son bonding experience to get his boy outside and away from video games. The thieves told Chris they belonged to a professional flyer who passed away. Chris admitted that he didn’t know they were stolen. When he saw how cool they were, he bought a large portion of Ben’s kites.
What Chris did next still gives me chills to this day. Chris said, “I don’t want any of these. You can take them all. Every single one goes back to you and the club.”
I gave Chris $800 that very second, and he said, “Load up your car.”
Chris went back inside and brought out two more kites. These two kites were the only two he had planned to keep for himself and his son. He said, “Take these as well.” His plan was to keep a couple of them, figure out how to fly them and sell the rest to make money.
He refused to keep anything that day. With the goodness in his heart, he made sure we took everything home.
Eric stood there and talked about Ben further while I loaded the car. Chris mentioned he would love to help us acquire more of the kites he knew were still with the thieves. He would work with them without raising alarm. Calling the cops might have seemed like a good idea, but Chris knew these people were not a good crowd to deal with. If we called the cops, they would likely hide them, throw them out and we could lose the chance to acquire more. We chose the route of trying to buy them rather than scare them off.
This approach led me down a two-month long hustle. I drove out to a couple of different locations with the help of Chris’s guidance. Chris informed me that it looks like all the thieves were doing lots of drugs. They probably used the money they made from Chris and I to buy more drugs. Eventually the thieves tried to swindle me out of as much money as possible. I did pay them a couple more times through Chris’s efforts to coordinate drop-offs and pickups.
In the end, many kites were destroyed, thrown away, or teased without producing anything. Eventually, I pulled the plug on dealing with them. They were clearly heavy users of meth and likely heroin. They got some money out of me, but it was worth it.
My wife fully supported every effort made to recover as many kites as possible. We couldn’t afford to buy all of this, but we did what was necessary. I made a promise to her that some of Ben’s kites would be sold to replenish our account, with the overall goal being to save them, donate nearly everything, support the San Diego Kite Club, and contribute to charitable acts over time.
I made Chris several promises the day we met. The San Diego Kite Club would give him a three-year membership and his entire family, friends, and anyone he brought with him over the next three years. I promised to return two of Ben’s higher quality quad-line kites for him and his son, along with handles, lines, and bags prepared for each kite.
I also invited him and his son to the next club fly for the 35-year anniversary, which was just a week away. The plan was to include him in my speech so his son and family could hear about the unbelievably kind act Chris had just done.
Chris is the TRUE Hero in this story.
I made sure everyone heard me loud and clear at the 35-year anniversary. I called Chris’s name on my portable speaker in front of 80 to 100 people and spoke about what he had done. I looked his son in the eyes and told him he should be proud of his father. I told the boy he would become a man soon, and as he grows, it’s this moment he should never forget. His dad did something very respectable, that not everyone would do, but he did it.
During the speech, I held up a Ron Bohart Revolution quad-line with fierce cat eyes and the word BEN written in red on it. Showing 1 example of what Chris helped to recover.
At the club anniversary event we gave Chris one of Ben’s quad-line kites with everything ready to fly. Along with that, there was a surprise from Revolution. Joe Hadzicki personally brought Chris and his son a brand-new quad-line kite, complete with carbon handles and new lines. It was a gift from me, from Revolution, and from Ben in a way.
Joe walked them through how to set it up, fly it, and provided lessons for Chris, his son, and their family members who attended. It was a magical day for so many reasons.
Here is the San Diego Kite Clubs 35 Year Anniversary Article
There is more to this story that is very personal to me. I want to share what happened right after we left Chris’s brother’s driveway, the morning of July 8th and share how that day finally ended for me at 5 AM on July 9th. If you are paying close attention, this tells you I didn’t sleep for 2 days.
Before we drove off from Chris’s brother’s house. Eric and I celebrated with a hug and a high five. We decided to stop at a local Denny’s to grab some ice cream sundaes, Eric’s idea. Eric knew I needed a companion a little longer before returning home.
This was a heavy experience that had just unfolded with Chris, and I felt the recent past weighing on me as well. There had been months of investing my energy and heart into matters surrounding Ben’s death. Starting with the phone calls from Hero #1 and Hero #2, setting up the tribute fly and writing and rewriting Ben’s tribute page for several months.
This first interaction with Chris happened after a very long night of no sleep. I walked up to my front door carrying close to 25 kites, kite gear, and other items with almost no energy left in me. But the life of a parent requires you to be alert. Three children at home kept me going until their bedtime.
That night, after the kids fell asleep, I made the choice to organize Ben’s belongings. In my opinion, they still belong to Ben. The smart thing to do would have been to go to sleep, but my brain forced me to plan the next move. Around 10 PM, with the house quiet and still, I chose to open every kite we had acquired that morning.
Each kite was removed from its bag, photographed, notes were written, the bag tagged, and the kite carefully stored. If you knew Ben, he would roll up his kites quickly and slide them into a bag. This process ran from 10 PM until 5 AM. What happened during those hours is very important to me. I want all readers to get a sense of what that moment in time was like. It was an entirely unique situation for me.
I opened the first kite and followed the steps mentioned previously. My excitement grew for many reasons. I had found Ben’s kites. I was proud of myself. Not knowing what kite would be opened next made my excitement grow even more. It felt like a fifth wave of energy had found me while being sleep deprived. I would select a random kite bag and repeat the process. Eventually, excitement gave way to a heavy sense of responsibility for handling Ben’s kites correctly. Every angle of long term care was considered while more kites awaited opening and documentation. Where excitement left, responsibility grew. Then sadness and a feeling of being unworthy showed up. A small cloud of anger lingered, knowing someone Ben had tried to help had stolen from him.
I was opening kites that belonged to a man I hardly knew. Many of these kites were a mystery. I was opening kites that were handmade just for Ben. Several kites were one of a kind, gifts made with deeply rooted connections between the maker and the receiver. Several kites are autographs and have personal messages to Ben. The process of identifying and labelling everything started to eat away at me. With each kite I opened, my soul ached. I reached a breaking point. About 30 minutes of sitting with hands on my face. I can feel that night like it never left.
A point arrived where something was needed to move forward. It became necessary to know as much as possible about what had been reclaimed of Ben’s kites. At that moment, it was 2:04 AM.
I stopped opening kites and started writing down every name on each kites that had already been opened. Turning to Facebook, I wrote each person a similar message: “Hey, I’d like to speak with you about a kite I found. My name is Ziggy, and I fly with the San Diego Kite Club. When you have time, I’d love to speak with you.” I did this several times, expecting to hear back later.
To my surprise, one person responded almost immediately. Alden Miller said, “I can talk now.” I video-called him through Facebook, introduced myself and thanked him for taking my call in the middle of the night. We covered what had happened. At this point Alden already told me the Eyes kite originally belonged to Rich Comras. When Rich passed away, Alden gave the kite to Ben. As we spoke, I told Alden about seeing Ben fly that kite on New Year’s Day and how it was the most beautiful quad-line kite ever. Alden then asked if he could have it back. I immediately said, yes, of course. Out of all the kites that were recovered, Alden’s kite was the only one that made an important connection with me. It was my way of having a piece of Ben. But I had no intention of keeping any of Ben’s kites without permission. I asked Alden if I might keep it, explaining my feelings and intentions.
He shared a few personal details and then said something I will never forget: “There are only a few people in the world who are allowed to have that kite. You are one of them.” I thanked him and promised to fly it until it falls apart, like Rich Comras and Ben Dantonio would have.
I told Alden that before he answered my call, I was struggling deeply. He reassured me that I was not alone in those feelings. He understood what it was like to go through someone’s belongings. Alden stayed on the video call while the remaining kites were opened. Each one, Alden could identify who made it, when it was made, and who should be contacted next. Each kite brought deeper emotions and greater responsibility.
At one point, Alden could see I was struggling again. I told him this feels like standing in another man’s closet, that this shouldn’t be happening and I wasn’t worthy. He lifted my spirits a few times.
By the end of that night, it was 5 AM. I promised Alden we would stay in touch, thanked him endlessly, and finally went to sleep.
Lingering feelings of unworthiness stayed with me for some time, but because of Alden’s kindness, I felt more confident and guided, even if I still didn’t know exactly what to do. Alden encouraged me to reach out to Kevin Bayless, Ron Bohart, and a few others. So, I did.
I spoke with Eliot Shook, Pedro Gonzalez, Claudio Capelli and Caterina Capelli, Kevin Bayless, Ron Bohart, Joe Hadzicki, Scott Weider, and others.
Each conversation followed the same pattern: this is what happened and I would like to ask you some questions. I asked each person how Ben acquired the kite sitting in front of me. Their responses blew me away. Each conversation below helped me accept my role and responsibility of handling Ben’s kites. There are others who are not mentioned too. I can’t thank you all enough, mean it.
Eliot Shook told me the kite I recovered was part of a special pair. He made mirrored compass rose kites in red, white, and blue for Rich Comras and Ben Dantonio to fly side by side. Sadly, this day never came to be. When I followed back up with Adlen about what Eliot shared. Alden told me when Rich passed away, he gave Rich’s compass rose to Scott Weider. I followed up with Scott soon after. More on this in a moment.
Ron Bohart explained that the kite I recovered was a one-of-a-kind project he made specifically for Ben. It featured a fierce predator cat with the word BEN written on it. He described the fabric-dyeing techniques used to make the kite and the intention behind the design. The design represented the way Ben saw the world. The kite was 1 in a series made for Revolution but not apart of the job Ron was contracted to do. He made 1 extra kite just for Ben.
Pedro Gonzalez spoke with me at length about the Detox kite recovered. Pedro gave the detox to Ben back in 2019 with the hopes of working with Revolution. Today, the Detox is known as a championship competition model quad line. Pedro continues to advance the quad line kite with advancements in design. It recently won all categories at the multiline world kite cup in Wuhan. Congrats to you and the fliers Pedro.
Claudio Capelli and Caterina Capelli setup a 3-way call to help me communicate with Claudio, who doesn’t speak English. The call was truly a beautiful thing. I told them I had this unique portrait kite Claudio made and wanted to know the story behind it. They said it was a gift for Ben, and someone brought it back to the US for him. There is a plan to send it back with someone here in the states who is going to Artevento. A possible museum about Claudio is in the works. It may or may not happen but in any case. I aim to send it back with or without the museum coming to life.
Scott Weider and I discussed flying the compass rose kites together. We will take the photo that was originally planned for Rich and Ben. This August, at my first Washington State International Kite Festival, Scott and I plan to fly them side by side, take a photo and send it to Cath and Eliot Shook. We will take the photo Ben and Rich never got to.
During all my calls I asked everyone the same question. “Would you like me to send this autographed kite back to you.” Everyone responded the same way and said “Keep it in San Diego. Take care of it. Do what you feel is right.”
I never expected that. At this time everything was still very fresh. Only a week had gone by since meeting Chris and speaking with these wonderful flying friends who knew Ben. The hard part for me was figuring out how to manage everything. Through the conversations I’ve had with some people who are close to me. I have received some solid advice. One piece of advice is to sit in silence for a while. Do not make any decisions. Nothing needs to happen overnight. Finding the right thing to do will show itself in time.
To date, I have donated about 80% of Ben’s kites to the San Diego Kite Club, where we will find them new homes locally. One kite was donated to the LA Kite Club. Two or three kites will be sold to recover some of the money my family spent. Several remain with me until the right person or moment presents itself.
One of them will go to a lucky reader of this story.
If you are reading this and would like to win one of Ben’s kites through a random drawing, go to sandiegokiteclub.org, visit the contact us page, and email the presidents email address. In the subject line, write: Thank you Ben, and include your contact information. You will be entered into a random name drawing for one quad-line Revolution kite that belonged to Ben. Handles and lines are not included but shipping is covered. The name will be drawn on March 31st, and the winner will be announced that same week. I will do a live video to share the experience and results. Thank you for staying with this story and carrying it forward
As time passes, beautiful omens continue to appear. My goal is to unload nearly everything in the right way, at the right time.
I have the Eyes because of Alden’s permission.
I have the compass rose to honor Rich, Ben, Alden, the Shook’s, and Scott.
I have Ron Bohart’s leopard eyes and will be flying it around the San Diego Kite Club for many years to come.
Now, I wait in silence, keeping my eyes open, for the moment when I can share another piece of Ben with the few kites left.
Love Zig
